The importance of getting along with our own selves (Second House)!

We are "conditioned" to expect love to come into our lives through other people. That's an inherent "pattern" ingrained in us during our childhood, when our parents or other primary caregivers were the ones providing us with love and care. And although we might not be fully aware of it, we are so thoroughly "programmed" by this pattern, that even as adults we ever long for some cherubic "third party" to come into our lives and start loving us unconditionally! 

As the old adage goes, you can't love other people unless you love yourself first. However, there is a problem there, since most people don't seem to get along with themselves! That comes as a bit of a surprise, considering that people in general are quite egocentric and are thus supposed to take the very best care of themselves. But, as if they were plagued by some mysterious virus, they don't! On the contrary, they often are at war with themselves, acting in a self-loathing and destructive manner.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting here that people don't try to fulfill their own needs and desires! That's what the great majority of people do! In addition to accumulating as much wealth and material goods as they can, they also want to satiate their own desires with as many pleasures as they can, as well as with individuals who are "loving" and accepting them! But this does not necessarily mean that these people are actually getting along with themselves! It's like they are ever trying to feed a perpetually hungry beast - which we might call the "disturbed, voracious EGO"!

On the ther hand, an individual who faces difficulties with self-acceptance usually places excessive expectations on his/her interpersonal interactions, to make him/her feel good. S/he is thus over-activating the Eighth House in his/her chart, which represents the kind of "validation", "acceptance" and "love" we derive from our interpersonal interactions. However, such an individual might be often left "high and dry" because they constantly look on another person - who is actually serving his/her own "Ego" and interests - to make them happy!

There is a sort of "tug of war" going on here and the more we engage our Eighth House, the more our Second House (its opposite one) weakens and eventually atrophies! We then begin to lose our sense of worth, our self-esteem, and we consequently develop a negative self-image.

The Eighth House is regenerative alright, but it is often compelling us to engage in extreme and even destructive acts! The Second House though - when properly activated - settles a person's internal conflict and grants him/her a priceless inner serenity! Furthermore, it provides him with a strong "inner sense of worth," which helps the individual feel that he is "inherently" worthy in himself, regardless of any outward achievements!

Under such circumstances, a person begins to appreciate and love him/herself. And this can trigger the process within him/her to start appreciating and loving other people too - in a more composed and "grounded" way.

You see, the more relaxed and safeguarded our "inner world" is, the more serene and composed we feel. This improves the quality of our relationships with others. We develop more emotional autonomy and stop relying so much on third parties to feel good. And once we achieve this, our decisions about the kind of people we want in our lives become much more discerning and viable! 

Thomas Gazis
Copyright: Thomas D.Gazis

(Image courtesy of "Cosmopolitan")