The "feminine" type of aggressiveness (what has astrology taught me)!

(photo courtesy: "Psychology Today" magazine -  "Bullying in the female world" by Ditta M. Oliker)

DISCLAIMER: I do not endorse any kind of violence or aggression! I am just wondering why people go to great pains in order to create a rather "meek" and "aggression-less" public image (while some develop a guilt complex about their own aggression). Overall, aggression is considered something "bad" in our societies! The fact is though that everybody is aggressive, to some shape and form! Some people are overtly aggressive and some others are covertly aggressive! Many people are aggressive towards their own selves! Being aggressive is a natural thing to us humans (you see, we all have a planet Mars or Pluto, or the sign of Aries, Taurus, Scorpio etc in our charts). Thus, the more we deny our aggressive side the more we feed it, the more power it has over us! The "feminine aggressiveness" I am examining here even more so...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Feminine aggressiveness! Well, that's a term you probably never heard before (there is a chance you might know it as "passive aggression"). It might even upset some of you. How can one characterize aggressive the energy that we all know as maternal, receptive and tender? And how can the feminine energy be "mean" and aggressive? Furthermore, how can it be as "mean" and aggressive as the masculine one? You see, loving and caring as it might be the feminine energy, there is also a "dark side" to it - as there is to everything else!

Personally, I was not fully aware of this kind of "feminine aggressiveness", until I stumbled upon it as I was doing some investigation on the field of astrological "energies" and "polarities"! In particular, some ten years ago I was writing an article on the six zodiacal "Pairs" (which was published in 2004 on the historical "American Astrology" magazine. You may read it here). As I was beginning to conceptualize this article I realized that there is in nature a particular "feminine selfishness" that is equivalent - but not identical - to the masculine one. And consequently there is a feminine kind of aggressiveness corresponding to the masculine one! They both are of the same intensity but are somehow developing in "different phases" (I am explaining this further on)!

Astrology might be of help to us here, because the very zodiac is somehow built upon this "masculine - feminine" pattern. You probably know that the zodiac is symmetrically composed of six masculine and six feminine signs. Aries is a masculine sign, Taurus is a feminine one, Gemini is a masculine sign, Cancer a feminine one and so on.

On my aforementioned "American Astrology" article I was depicting the masculine signs as "mountains" and the feminine ones as sort of gorges or "ravines". Thus, we might picture the masculine aggressiveness as a "mountainous" one and the feminine aggressiveness as a "concavely" one!

Imagine a person crossing with his/her jeep a desolate landscape, on a clear day. That person will easily spot the mountains around him/her, because they are prominent, obvious and explicit! Similarly, we can all perceive easily and IMMEDIATELY the masculine type of aggressiveness! Just picture a person shouting loud at you or violently pushing you, in front of other people. That's masculine aggressiveness alright! What about the feminine aggressiveness though? What would they be its key characteristics?

I began my quest on this subject by considering the feminine aggressiveness as a "ravine" kind of aggressiveness. So, in the aforementioned scenario it would be much harder for the person crossing the desolate landscape to spot any eventual ravines lurking below his/her horizon. And if this person is careless enough s/he might even fall in one, before even realizing it that there was a ravine in front of him/her!

This means that the feminine aggressiveness is somehow invisible to our social environments. And although it is equavalent to the masculine one (they are both equally aggressive but they don't seem so, because their "phases" and "polarities" are ever divergent), it's not easily perceived and thus is not evaluated as an acutely aggressive energy! In reality the feminine aggressiveness (called "passive aggression" in psychology) works in rather IMPLICIT ways, moving across "behavioral corridors" that are well hidden and behind the curtains. Thus, the feminine aggressiveness is somehow "silent", apparently "idle" and does not leave its "trails" externally!

We need though to clarify something here: when we talk about the "feminine energy" we do not refer exclusively to women. Many men (even the allegedly "macho" ones) have prominent "feminine" energies in their charts and thus they may resort to feminine aggressiveness!


                           The "Ego" drive (as defined by astrology)

It is imperative for each person to be  unique, self-sufficient and secure, to have stamina and momentum, to impose its own interests and to dominate as much as it can the people and the situations around it. If the average Joe/Jane lacked an elementary strong "Ego" then s/he would be "crashed" by the multiple external pressures we all receive in life. This process of building and strengthening a human being's "Ego", of achieving his/her individualization and "diversification", is supervised by the first two signs of the zodiac: by Aries (a "masculine" sign) and by Taurus (a "feminine" sign).

The secret now is that the aforementioned process is handled by the signs of Aries and Taurus "in tandem" - by splitting that is the process in half and by assigning to Aries its masculine "phase" and to Taurus its feminine "phase"! The signs of Aries and Taurus (and all the adjacent "odd - even" numbered signs, for that matter) are in reality astrological "Pairs", a kind of small "wholenesses", two equal but opposite - complementary "polarities".

Regarding Aries, we can easily understand why it is considered the sign of "Ego", the sign impersonating the overt aggression: it is a masculine sign ruled by the belligerent planet Mars. What about Taurus though? How can a "low key" feminine sign - ruled by the docile planet Venus - be so selfish and eventually belligerent? Is there indeed a feminine ego? Astrology is telling us that there is - and that it is as acute as the masculine one! If the masculine Ego is manifested through overt aggressiveness - by being i.e. an all too clear "bully" - the female selfishness is mostly manifested through INERTIA and self-protection, through hidden and somehow "manipulative" behaviors and actions!

Feminine aggressiveness entails the art of "invisibly acting". Also, the art of "remaining inert" in any situation not yielding some kind of gain (emotional, financial etc.) to the individual! Actually, when a "feminine Ego" is feeling insecure and threaten it might fudge things up, resorting to a skillful "imbroglio", to a smooth "withdrawal" and "absenting" from any "perilous" activity - every time it faces an inconvenient / threatening situation!

The sign of Taurus is representing - in the most archetypal way - this kind of "feminine Ego"! Don't get me wrong though here. Not all Tauruses are by definition "femininely aggressive" (and certainly not to the same extent). We should not forget here that there is in literature the notorious "feathered Bull", representing a very spiritual, elevated human being! In reality, the raw, unrefined kind of Tauruses are the ones that tend to be extremely egotistical and consequently "femininely aggressive".

The feminine "Ego" is somehow urging the person to act "invisibly", "behind the curtains", to promote his/her own "plan" while keeping at a minimum level the expenditure of energies (sentimental, financial ones etc.) - especially when forced to participate in non desirable activities that seem unprofitable to the individual.

An individual partaking to the "raw, unrefined Taurean type" (a prominently individualistic, over self-nurturing, introverto-covert individual, that is) is usually avoiding to employ overt acts of selfishness and aggression. If there isn't around some crucial reason s/he will religiously abstain from any kind of activity that might visibly upset the energies in his/her environment (not necessarily out of  "goodness" but because s/he is aware that s/he will be immediately targeted by the people around him/her - and that would mean a lot of hostility and aversion from the part of his/her omnipotent social environment). The feminine energy is "ever self-protecting, ever preserving its own self and clan" - meaning that the people impersonating it are fully aware of how important it is to act silently and behind the curtains, without overtly provoking the people around them.

Thus the "raw Taurus" type of individual is generally displaying a meek and polite face outwards. But if it encounters a situation that ultimately jeopardizes his/her own personal interests (i.e. if s/he must financially assist someone or house any needy people) then most probably such an individual will attempt to skillfully withdraw him/herself from the "acting stage" without being noticed - so that s/he ultimately protects his/her own interests and does not suffer losses or "damages". And s/he will do this without apparently squabbling nor displaying any explicit aggressiveness or violence towards anyone. Simply, s/he will skillfully withdraw him/herself from any "perilous" to his/her own interests activity...

This kind of withdrawal though, this "silent refusal" to partake i.e. in a charitable activity is a sign of strong selfishness - and therefore of aggressiveness towards the people involved in that activity. Of course the "raw Taurean type of individual" did not swear at someone, nor s/he violently pushed anybody. Indirectly, however, s/he behaved as if s/he had sworn at them or as if s/he had violently pushed them away! Actually s/he did behave aggressively towards the people around him/her but without offering them any tangible "handle", without leaving any visible "trail" so that they promptly recognize how aggressively s/he behaved! That's "feminine aggression" in a nutshell !


                       The art of maneuvering without leaving trails

The fact that the "feminine Ego" works in implicit ways - meaning that it cannot be easily spotted as aggressive by the others - does not automatically render it inoffensive and less "mean"... In reality it is as powerful and "mean" as the masculine one, as the "raw Ariettid" kind of selfishness. Let's make a "thought experiment" and set two individuals - each of them representing a "polarity" - in a controlled (i.e. business) environment, with identical provocative stimuli. An "astrologically masculine" individual will react to the negative stimuli most probably by shouting loud, by over-gesturing or even by overtly behaving violently. But in such an instance the prominently masculine individual would have totally exposed himself, disclosed his/her intentions and attracted hostility from the people around him/her!

Instead, the prominently feminine individual would have more methodically and carefully promoted his personal interests - without overexposing himself/herself and without attracting too much aversion and hostility. Such a person (even if physically present) will be skillfully "absenting" any situation not yielding a meaningful benefit to himself/herself  - no matter how critical this situation might be to some other people. Only in time - and only by those who delve deeper in human interactions - the full extent of the incident will be revealed and only then the participants will realize how selfishly the "raw Taurean type of person" behaved!

Therefore, we should define as selfish and aggressive not only those people who are overtly behaving in an aggressive manner but those people too who are intentionally "withdrawing" and "absenting" in critical to their fellow-humans situations, all those individuals who are not there when the people around them need them the most. Any person not helping his/her fellow humans - in the name of not minimally jeopardizing his/her own personal interests - should be considered a selfish and aggressive person!

Whenever someone remains silent and uninvolved is front of a critical situation, of an emergency, of an injustice committed in his/her own vicinity, then that person is actually displaying a "femininely aggressive" behavior! Whenever i.e. a wealthy person is not assisting the needy people around him/her - for example the unemployed ones who cannot afford even their daily bread - then this wealthy person is employing a "feminine aggressiveness" towards his/her fellow humans (and society in general). The feminine aggression is not easily spotted by third parties as the "perpetrator" might employ highly manipulative behaviors.

How many times i.e. have you been confronted with a person who has (directly or indirectly) wronged you (or wronged somebody else), who has behaved in a acutely selfish manner (although covertly, so that nobody recognizes it as such) and who not only is stubbornly refusing to acknowledge his/her wrong doing but is skillfully trying to reverse the situation, by putting you down and leading you into an disadvantageous, defensive state (adding thus insult to the injury)...

In front of such a person - and his/her humongous hypocrisy - you might lose your temper and start yelling and gesturing. And then YOU will be the one looking aggressive in the eyes of the people around you! In such a way the "prominently feminine" person will have managed to doubly victimize you - while thanks to his/her own "manipulative" skills s/he will be projecting a "goody two shoes" image to the people around! This kind of behavior is immensely aggressive but in a convert, feminine manner! Meaning that it might not look aggressive in the eyes of any third party - who may ultimately target you as the aggressive person!

To put it in the words of the clinical psychologist and "Psychology Today" author Ditta M.Oliker: 

"What struck me as I was watching the film "The Help" is how it also dramatically and effectively captures the emotional and psychological violence of social aggression, including the sting and cruelty of the verbal "weapons" women use. The words now associated with female aggressive behavior include: excluding, ignoring, teasing, gossiping, secrets, backstabbing, rumor spreading and hostile body language (i.e., eye-rolling and smirking).  Most damaging is turning the victim into a social "undesirable". 

The behavior and associated anger is hidden, often wrapped in a package seen as somewhat harmless or just a "girl thing". The covert nature of the aggression leaves the victim with no forum to refute the accusations and, in fact, attempts to defend oneself leads to an escalation of the aggression.  What the film doesn't show though is that the effects of social aggression can be longer lasting and more damaging than physical aggression. Since the "weapons" have a stealth nature to them, there is less possibility of anticipating the specifics of an attack and fewer actions to defend against an attack."

Of course, what I personally call "feminine aggressiveness" is not limited just to women but it extends to the "astrologically feminine men" too. If this is still a "neologism" to you, here is my definition of it: An "astrologically feminine" person is someone having in his/her chart as many as possible of the preconditions described below (the more such preconditions s/he has the more "astrologically feminine" s/he is. Points 1 and 2 should be considered the most critical):

1. A predominance of feminine signs. 
2. An emphasis on feminine houses
3. The "feminine planets" in the angles of  the chart
4. The feminine planets particularly "strengthen" in the chart. In addition, those planets forming as many as possible aspects with "debilitated" masculine planets

(Note: the term "astrologically feminine" does not coincide with the term "effeminate". In reality, there are many "astrologically feminine" macho men out there...)

Undoubtedly, we are all  familiar with the bitter "taste" of feminine aggression, as we are experiencing it - more or less - often  in our everyday lives. It is a particular kind of methodically structured and veiled aggression that is not easily perceived externally. And that's exactly what makes it dangerous, the fact that it is an extremely sharp and corrosive type of aggression that our societies have not still fully acknowledged!

Mysteriously, the "feminine aggressiveness" seems to be generated by the "venusian" sign of Taurus, which is the "leader" of the feminine duality in the zodiac. It doesn't stay though in Taurus but it spreads all over the feminine polarity (diversified in each case by each sign's attributes). Think i.e. of a feminine sign like Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio etc. They are all capable of "tuning" themselves to "femininely aggressive" frequencies alright (either by making their fellow-humans feel guilty, manipulate them etc.)! And as I have repeatedly pointed out, the "feminine aggressiveness" is not limited just to women but it equally extents to all men having predominantly "feminine" energies in their charts!

Thomas Gazis
Copyright: Thomas D. Gazis

P.S. You may read Ditta M. Oliker's article "Bullying in the female world" here

The "Breathing" of the Zodiac (the six zodiacal "Pairs")

The traditional affinities in the zodiac are the "Elements," "Modalities," and "Polarities," as we all know. But the zodiac contains even more affinities! The signs, for example, are constructing six “Pairs” among themselves. Each masculine sign somehow takes in marriage its adjacent feminine sign. Thus, we get these six “Pairs” in the zodiac: Aries - Taurus, Gemini - Cancer, Leo - Virgo, Libra - Scorpio, Sagittarius - Capricorn, Aquarius - Pisces. It seems I am not telling you much at this point, but the concept of “Pairs” is a rather new and fascinating one, as you will see.

We live in a polarized word. Wherever we turn our sight we see polarized situations: things, processes, beings (positive or negative, masculine or feminine). Whatever situation comes in our mind, somewhere exists its opposite one! The polarization process is necessary for the objects to take shape, for the humans to exist and evolve, for life to carry on.

Take cars, for example. What is moving them is the power of their engine. And that power is produced in a rather polarized way (through the mecchanical process of "combustion - exhaustion"). Now, take the human engine, the body. It inhales oxygen and it exhales carbonate dioxide (the exhaust gas). The same mecchanism as in the cars! Without this incessant, "polarized" process of breathing in and out the human body would run out of energy and perish. Somehow, polarization means life!

Let’s go back to our six zodiac “Pairs”. These “Pairs” constitute the six major "breaths" of the zodiac, the six reciprocating processes of integration and evolution.

The zodiacal signs are depicted below in a sine wave, in order to emphasize their “gender” and the way they complement each other. The “mountains” in the figure are the masculine signs, the “gorges” or "ravines" the feminine ones.

Aries and Taurus form the Pair of Individualization, the Pair of Ego. It is imperative for each person and situation to be unique, differentiated, self-sufficient, secure, to impose his interests and dominate, in as much as he can, the others. People without a strong Ego cannot impose their will or sustain the pressures of life. Aries represents the masculine phase of the Ego and Taurus the feminine one. But does a feminine Ego really exist? Yes, it does! Whereas the masculine Ego is manifested “loudly” and aggressively, the feminine Ego is manifested by inertia and non-participation. We should consider egotistical persons not only the ones that behave abruptly and aggressively but also the ones that ingeniously retire into their selves and interests, whenever they have to make a stand and support something or somebody.

So, there are two Ego phases. The masculine phase gives a capacity to openly face situations, to claim whatever one considers his own, to pull things in the desired direction. The feminine (Taurean) phase gives a capacity to sustain external pressures and to define oneself without the need of impressive exterior achievements. This a very important but not very well understood phase of the Ego. Still, it is an equal “half” of the Ego. Aries represents the dynamic Ego, the Ego that is strong as long as it remains in action. Taurus represents the static Ego, the Ego that is strong as long as it abstains from action! In order for a man to be really strong he has to have both the masculine and the feminine phase strong.


Gemini and Cancer are the signs of the logical and of the emotional/psychological development of the individual! Of his/her Interconnection with his/her surroundings, of his/her overall "communication" skills. There is no meaning in an "Ego" that has been created but left in a primitive, unrefined state, isolated from the rest of society. It is vital for this "Ego" to evolve both logically and emotionally, so that it integrates itself to society and fully exploits the many benefits its interaction with it bestows! This is the job of of the Gemini - Cancer duet! These two signs strategically control and ever refine the "interconnection" skills of the individual with the people and the situations around him/her.

We humans are not communicating just verbally but emotionally too! On the one hahnd, the "masculine" reasoning, the intellect, are extremely important in any kind of "communication". Oddly enough though, the emotions we are transferring while we communicate with somebody play a fundamental role too! They influence the quality of our communication (they may enhance it or deteriorate it). So, every time we communicate with some other human beings we have to be aware of our emotional exchange with them as well - and respect that exchange as much as we respect the mere intellectual exchange.

Think of two individuals, a Gemini and a Cancer, traveling side by side in a bus. They don’t know each other and after some time they might even feel uncomfortable for not talking to eah other. The first to engage in a conversation will be the Gemini individual. It is imperative for this sign to interconnect cerebrally with the others, to exchange words with them - without having though any particularly wish to exchange emotions and "soul energy" with the others. That's Cancer’s job!

The sign of Cancer is the feminine phase of Interconnection and Communication. It is the sign of the Soul, so the kind of interconnection it craves for is the warm, soul - centered, emotional interconnection. S/he is shy, so probably s/he won't be the one starting the conversation. But, from the moment the dialogue will begin Cancer will willingly participate in it and will bring in it some much warmer, emotional states (i.e. he might ask his fellow traveler about his family). He will be staring him warmly in the eyes and will be aiming at his own and his fellow travelers “warming” of the soul, in that unique way that the human contact warms our souls. Even if the two do not exchange a single word during the trip and at the moment of getting down from the bus the Cancer individual turns and warmly looks at his fellow traveler, even then an interconnection will have been established, of the Cancerian, feminine type!


Leo and Virgo form the Pair of the Completion of the individual. Leo represents the masculine phase of completion and Virgo the feminine one. In the phase of Leo the individual has been remarkably developed (he has obtained in previous stages a strong Ego, intelligence and soul). Thus, Leo feels very full of himself, he begins to feel a small God! There is no doubt that Leo has a strong and dominant personality, that he is very self - confident and has a wide range of creative talents. He is self-assured and needs other people to admire him and serve him. Leo is remarkable, under many points of view, but still is not a God! This is exactly what Virgo, the feminine phase of Completion, commits herself to constantly remind him.

In the Virgonian phase of completion the individual is thoroughly probed in order to discover all of his shortcomings and failings. We all tend to deny and forget our weaknesses. But Virgo is always there to remind them to us (and of course, to mirror them to Leo, showing him how far away he is from perfection, from divinity).
If we ever manage to look objectively at our selves we will discover in us many shortcomings and weaknesses (in our appearance, personality, behavior e.t.c.). And it is not only our frailties that distant us from perfection. Our everyday sins distant us even more! How chaste and pure are we, for example, to deserve divinity? Virgo is constantly probing this, measuring the distance that separates us from the ideal.


Libra and Scorpio form the next stage, in which one individual joins another. We have here the Pair of Union. Libra expresses the masculine phase of union. This is an exterior phase. A boy and girl walking together along the beach, a man marrying a woman, two persons interacting in a gentle and polite way. However, this exterior harmony does not imply that the two persons really like each other and that, beside their exterior rapprochement, they are united internally, in their souls. There are so many men and women who do not show it externally but are strongly united in their souls (fated love affairs, extra - marital affairs, liaisons e.t.c.).

All these kinds of strong, hidden unions are typically Scorpionic (feminine). In the phase of Scorpio the individuals do not only unite but also actually merge! They become absolute one, in the body, in the mind, in the soul! They completely transform themselves into new entities and their separates “me, myself” become “us”. In the Scorpionic union, the individual ceases to draw sentimental and psychic support from his parents, relatives, friends e.t.c. and draws it exclusively from his partner.

Obviously, the Scorpionic union is a deep and passionate one. But this does not diminish the importance of the Libraian union. It is very important for two individuals, no matter how incompatible they are and how many differences they have, to coexist gently and politely. The human civilization is largely based upon the masculine Libraian union.


Next comes the stage of Socialization, represented by the signs of Sagittarius and Capricorn. Sagittarius represents the masculine phase of socialization. Remember that this phase comes after the somehow claustrophobic phase of Scorpio (where two individuals strive to become an absolute one). Sagittarius knows that if one gets too hemmed in his relationship or in his private life, he risks to be cut off from the vital stream of energies that society harbors. The energies of an intimate relationship can be powerful and regenerating but can become swampy and poisonous, as well! That’s why Sagittarius prompts the individuals to open themselves, their minds, their relationships, to go out and meet people, to have fun, to travel e.t.c.

What Sagittarius starts Capricorn completes. Capricorn considers the Sagittarian kind of socialization important, but somehow frivolous. To him the true socialization begins when the individual starts to serve society, when he produces a socially useful work (through his profession), when he fully takes his responsibilities, towards himself and society. To Capricornean people the individual is nothing but a gear in the mechanism of society and it should be as useful and functional gear as it can be! It is important for Capricorn to see people socialize for specific, utilitarian reasons, i.e. in order to develop professional plans or improve the conditions of their community.


The sixth and final stage of the zodiac is the stage of Universalization, expressed by the Pair Aquarius - Pisces. Aquarius - which is the masculine phase of universalization, considers it important that a man finds his place in society, but even more important is for him to find his place in the Universe! We have to find the meaning of life, we have to understand, in a broader term, which we are and what our mission is. Aquarius brings a high level of consciousness to the individual, so high that he might even deny doing his duty (i.e. the pilot of a military airplane that goes against the orders that he has and refuses to bomb civilians). Aquarius is a humanist. He loves his fellow humans, regardless of their social, financial, racial position. But he prefers to mingle with people that have a high level of consciousness and are like-minded.

Pisces represent the feminine phase of universalization. It is a sign that brings one an even higher level of consciousness than Aquarius. But at this advanced phase, consciousness and perception become so high that start to mutate into an undifferentiated, overwhelming wisdom that might disorientate the individual.
Pisces do not even segregate people according to their level of consciousness - as Aquarius does. To them all people are the same. They all have to carry their weigh, they all have pain and sorrow in their hearts. That’s why this mysterious sign considers each human being his brother. Pisces is the sign of the universal love, a kind of love that many people do not understand. It is a somehow impersonal love, with mixed elements of brotherhood and compassion. Pisces know that all people were once united (and they still are, in a sense) and that we all are destined to be wholly united again!


These are the six Pairs of the zodiac. The notion of “Pairs” is important because it helps us to deeper understand the structure of the zodiac. We knew a long time that there are six masculine and six feminine signs in the zodiac but apart from the obvious symmetry we had little notion of the need for such polarization. Now, with the theory of zodiacal Pairs we begin to better understand the expediency of the polarization in the zodiac. Zodiacal Pairs act as sources of energy and as agents that promote the evolutionary processes of life.

Thomas Gazis
Copyright: Thomas D. Gazis

(This is an edited version of a Thomas Gazis article that was published in the “American Astrology - Your daily Horoscope” magazine, on the July 2003 issue with the title "The Living Zodiac").